Without You
by shamelessOne
Summary: A story where love is the only thing that matters. LL. [Incomplete.]
1. Chapter One or Intro

It's not something that people think of everday. No one really thinks about it all that much, I guess they're afraid. Or are they just to.. 'busy'? Thinking of a million other things? I doubt it. They are probably thinking it's not something they really need to think or talk about, apparently, since no one does. But why don't they? Should they? Why not? What are teh reasons, or excuses, for not even thinking of it? Are they just scared? Afraid of what may happen if they do talk to somebody about it? But what if they dont. What happens then? It's a simple question. Why. Thousands of possible answers, but only one true one. Have you figured it out yet? I bet not. Are you thinking, that it will 'come up' eventually? That you dont need to 'rush into talking about it'? Thats not a good reason. Because by the time it, 'comes up' the truth will already have hit you, or worse it will happen. Why can't you think about it now? What is stopping you? What's in the way? Or are some thinking that it 'could never happen to you, it never will. Never.' Well you are wrong too. Sorry to break it to you. Happens to everybody. Don't try to deny it. Denial only makes it worse. Because when it does eventually happen, you wont be able to handle it, and you will never be able to release your guilt, because this whole time, you've been denying it all. Dont think it cures the hurt, because it never will. It's like a disease that the most advanced scientists in the world wil never find the cure for. Are any of you even wondering what I'm ranting about yet? Or have some of you figured it out? Death.

Yes, this whole rant was about dying. Death. 'Losing someone'. Whatever the hell you want to call it. It's all the same. Happens to everyone. In one form or another. See the connection with denial now? It all coming together? Making more sense? Wondering why you couldn't see it before? Now who's in denial. I bet even more of you now are denying the fact that you, or someone you deeply love in the world may die. What would happen to you, if the person who is most important in your life, that you loved with all your heart, was suddenly gone. Never to return? Would you feel like it was all your fault, or just simply wish it had been you, and not them? But would you really rather have them have the same hurt and loss as you are having right now? For me, that would hurt even more.

Think about it. Now, what would happen and change after you had gone? Nothing? No. Think again. The whole world would change without you. Do you realize what would happen to your family and friends? How lost they would be without you? Would they be chanegd for life, feeling guilty about your death, and mad at the world for taking you, all at the same time? Think about it. No, really. Think about it. It could really, truly, happen to any of us. Death isn't that small a threat as most of us think of it as. Don't take anything for granted. Don't do what I did when I almost lost the main person in my life, who I love so much. Want to hear what you shouldn't do? Then just keep reading. Shall we get on wit' it? 


	2. Chapter Two

The minute I walked into the hospital room, a place where I'm sure he would like to get out very soon, but thats beside the point. I swear I stopped breathing. I couldnt believe the sight I saw of the man I loved, just lying there. Helpless. Barely breathing. Barely alive. I realized how much I needed him. How much I needed him to love me, and how much I needed to love him. He was a part of me. I couldn't let that go. I wouldn't. Sometime in between those thoughts and me walking in, tears started streaming down my face. I couldn't stop them. They rushed down like it would never stop. When I saw that he noticed me in the room, I dont know when he did, but he motioned me to come over to bed. I could tell he was about to fall asleep again. I hate how hes like this. Its breaking my heart.

"Hi..," I could barely even talk. It was hard enough earlier being on the phone when they told me some idiot had run into him, that he had barely made it. I almost dropped the phone. Actually, I did. I almost broke it, I should say. Atleast he's alive. Yes, he's here. Alive. Breathing. Sitting in front of me breathing, focus on that. Oh, yes. He's in front of me staring at me waiting for me to talk to him. Duh. Answer him.

"Hey." he said simply and slowly, I could tell he was hurting, and it was probably even harder for him to talk, and move to face me. I make him lean back down, slowly, I could tell he saw the hurt in my eyes of seeing him like this, so he did as I told him to. He leaned back down onto the bed and closed his eyes while I talked to him. It did make me feel sick to just see him hurt and almost dead. No. Don't say that word. He will never die. I wont let him. I need him. I cant live without him. No.. no.. and thats when the tears came again.

He reached for my hand, and I gladly took it. I felt like I was cutting off his circulation. But of course I wasn't, and I knew it, but I dropped his hand back onto the bed anyways, and pulled a chair up to the side of his bed and leaned onto his shoulder and started crying and crying over again. I could tell he didn't mind, since he just let me. Damnit. I should stop crying. This chair is not very comfy.. hmm.. should I get another one? No. I will never leave his side. I won't lose him. I can't.. I would never survive without him. I know its probably not true, but it sure feels like it. I look at him. He has cuts all down him. His left arm is in a sling, the right in a cast just like Rory had when she fractured HER wrist. Rory! Oh my god. I have to call Rory. And the diner, and everyone else. I have to call Sookie. Tell her I'm not coming in tomorrow. Oh my god. So much to do. I can't do this alone. I can't do it alone, Luke. I'm not strong enough. Not without you.

"I love you," I stated, just making sure he knows. I needed him to know that. I wouldn't let him not know that I loved him when he was like this. He's not gonna die though. Right? The people on the phone who called me said he was in a severe accident.. they never said he would. He would. Die. No. He wont. He cant. I love him.

I knew that he heard me, though I wasn't all that sure at first, when he grabbed my hand and smiled, and said "I love you too." and then he slowly drifted off to sleep as I sat next to him. Oh, great. The tears again.

He still had a quite tight grip on my hand. I never wanted to let go. He loved me. It did make me feel a bit better. Actually alot. Now knowing that he loved me, and would never leave me alone again, I felt safer and more secure, and with that, I slowly let go of his hand, and kissed him on his lips softly, and stood up and walked to the door. Looking back at him lying there, feeling like I couldn't help him at all. But, really, I could. My love would keep him going. Or atleast I hope so. It would. I know it. I slowly left the room after a few more seconds of hesitation, not wanting to leave his side, in case he woke up. But. What if he didnt wake up. No. No, I would NOT think about that. It's not a possibility. He couldnt die. He couldnt. Ok. I have to get that thought out of my head. Its bad. Bad, bad thought. Never, ever will that happen. No. Plus, theres nurses and doctors all over this place, Luke's least favorite place in the world. Gah. I need to talk to someone. Reaching down into my purse, I pulled out my cellphone, and walked out of the building. Sitting on a bench about 10 feet from the Hartford Hospital. After a few seconds of just gathering myself together, I called the person I could always talk to. My best friend.

"Hey, do you think I should order takeout from Al's, or to go to Lukes. Hmm. I cant pick. Help.."

"Rory..?" I could barely make out, I could tell by her sudden silence that she could tell by my tone and the way i was talking to her, that something had happened. Also her saying Luke's name killed me. Him sitting in that room all alone. Hurting. Without me. I should go back in there. No! I can't. Not yet. You have to talk to someone. Get your mind off of him. It will help. I hope. Yes, help. It will. Help. Help. Rory. Phone! Talk damnit! Gah. This is getting really hard.

"Mom, whats wrong? Where are you?" she asked, I could just hear the concern in her voice, which made me smile, knowing that someone else loved me too. But soon, the realization of the night came back to me, making me almost cry again. It was hard holding them back, but I made it through. Hardly.

"Luke." Damnit. It's hard forming complete sentences tonight.

Rory's eyes grew wide just hearing the way she said his name, which sent chills running down her back. "What about Luke? Did something happen!" She asked with a mix of concern and worry in her voice, which made me burst out into tears once again.

"Mom? Mom! Are you still there? What happened!" she asked frantically, which made me realize that I had to tell her where to go so she could actually be here. I quickly explained to her where to go, not sure if it made a whole lot of sense or not, but that didnt matter, she said she would be here in less then 15 minutes, she would hurry.

Rory knew she had too, because it sounded like her mom was about to fall apart. Even though she didnt know what to expect, but she did have to expect her mom breaking down in her arms, which infact, is exactly what Lorelai did when she saw her daughters Prius pull up to the hospital, she nearly feel down the steps, and feel against Rory the minute she got out of the car. Actually, she wasnt exactly sure if she was actually all the way out of the car before she wrapped her into a huge hug, with tears streaming freely down her face. They stayed like this for a few minutes, until finally Rory spoke up.

"Mom? Mom.. can I ask.. why we're here? What happened?" she asked, and I saw that in her eyes that she really needed to know what happened so she could better understand, and comfort her more. And do anything that she could do to help. After a few more seconds I finally got the words to come out of my mouth. I didnt need to say much before I was back in my daughters arms crying again.  
"Luke.. he got in accident.. he should be fine. Should be. I cant tell. You should see him. He's almost.." and thats when Rory pulled me back, tears now forming in her eyes, and soon, we were both standing in each other's embrace, crying. After about 5 minutes in her comfort, I asked her something very important.

"Do you want to go see him? I'm gonna make.. some calls. I dont know, unless you want me to go back in there and just be with him. I miss him already, and if you'll make the calls. I cant even think straight right now, my head is.. just spinning. I need coffee. Luke's.. coffee." Yes! I finally formed a sentence. God. Took long enough. Now I'm frantically just waving my hands around. I'm gonna hit Rory. Put them down.. PUT THEM DOWN. There. God. I need coffee, really.. badly. Damnit I'm way to stressed. And I cant think about coffee without thinking about Luke. Luke is in there. Right now. I.. gah! Look at Rory. Focus on her. She is the one you need to talk to right now. Focus, Lorelai. Focus.

"No, mom, I can take care of the calls, you go see him. You should sleep too. Who do I need to call?" Wow. She really is willing to do anything for me in my time in need. Just like Luke. God! This is hard. I need him here. I need to talk to him.. look at him.. see him by my side. Ok, Lorelai, seriously, this is getting seriously annoying. Stop. Focus on daughter. Person with pretty hair, blue eyes, that's standing right in front of you. Come on. Rory. Rory. Look.

"Uh.. need to call Sookie, tell her I won't be in work, tell her what happened, but she has the baby! Oh my god! We can't disturb her when she has her own kid to take care of!" God, every second, new things come into my mind.

"Mom, seriously, calm down. She'll do it for us. There's Jackson, too, remember? Now, who else do I need to call?" Man shes good at this comforting thing.

"Luke's, tell Ceaser Luke won't be in for quite awhile.. ah.. I don't know, I can't think right now. Can you get me coffee? I wonder if they have any here.. probably not that good. And he would probably think it was poison or something. Luke. I need to see him. I'm gonna go crazy. Coffee.." I could rant forever, or so it seemed like it, until Rory put her hand over my mouth shutting me up immediately. She could see the panic in my eyes, so she quickly told me she would call everyone that she thought I would want her to, and told me that she wouldnt tell Patty because in about 2 hours the whole town would know. Of course, in 2 hours, the whole town would be asleep. Except Taylor. He goes to bed in half an hour. The old crank. Ok, stop thinking about Taylor. Nasty. Wrong. Think of Luke. The love of your life. Oh.. that has a nice ring to it. After I told Rory goodbye and told her to come back in the morning, since I would not be coming home most likely.

After watching her drive off, I slowly walked inside the building again. I now realize why Luke hates these places. They are just so full of.. memories, living pain. Reminding you what happened here. At that moment she slowly walked into his room again. His room. I hate the sound of that.. it makes it sound like this would always be the place where all the bad memories would come back to her.

I walked over to his bedside and took his hand once more. Only this time, it was a much softer hold. I wasn't nearly as afraid of losing him as much now. One of the nurses had told me on my way in that he was doing better, and they had control over his condition and he would, indeed survive the night. Thank god. I cant even think about what would've.. ok, see? I'm doing it again. I seriously need to go find coffee.

After about ten or fifteen minutes, I walk back into his room, coffee in hand. I see that is stirring in his bed, clearly uncomfortable. Of course, these beds must not be the best. He wasn't all the way awake, just slightly, trying to get comfortable, while trying not to move his leg or arms. God that must be really hard for him. I walk over to his side, wanting to never leave. I grab his hand and start rubbing it, slowly he wakes up again and smiles up at me. I smile back, knowing that he is still here with me. God this man is amazing.

"Hey.." I say softly, trying not to wake him up all the way. He really should get some sleep. I should too.

"Hey," he said slowly and sleepily, "how are you?" he added with a smirk.

"How am I? Huh. Shouldn't I be the one asking you?" I say playfully, the old Luke. My Luke, he's back.

"Hmm," he said trying to laugh but coughing in the end. They said he had slammed pretty hard into the steering wheel, hurting his ribs, even though he was buckled in. "Maybe. Just.. maybe." he finally said. Wow. I really do love him. 


	3. chapter three

About around an hour later at 11:40 that night, I woke up with my head on Luke's chest lightly, listening to his breathing, still having that feeling that he would stop all of a sudden and I would lose him forever. After sitting there watching him for about 10 minutes, I felt my phone vibrate in my purse that was next to my foot and the chair that I had pulled up next to the chair awhile earlier. The funny thing is that the phone was causing the purse to move a few inches each way every time it vibrated. Heh. That's fun to watch. Oh, phone, gotta pick it up. Heh. Easily amused.

"Hello?" I tried to say quietly. Almost a whisper. Didnt quite work since I was still laughing inside at the vibrating-phone-on-the-floor thing. Eh, whatever.

"Mom?" Rory said equally quietly, not that Luke could hear her side of the conversation. But who cares, its sweet.

"Hey you.. how are the phone calls going?"

"Good. Good. Called Ceaser and Sookie, and she said she would stop by tomorrow or the day after, after seeing if Jackson could take care of the babies. She really wants to be here. But I told her that it should be just you two for awhile. Is that ok?" God I love this kid.

"Yes, yes, yes. Thats great. I love you for doing this, kid. It's a huge help. I mean it." I really did. It did releave some of the stress that I was feeling on this very hectic day. Why did this have to happen? I still want to know why it happened too. Damnit.

"Your welcome, mom. You deserve a break from all these emotions that you are no doubt feeling." I could hear the worry in her voice for me, and Luke. Which made my heart swell with pride.

"Yah.." I couldn't really keep talking since Luke started to stir in his sleep, probably because he heard me talking. I walked to the other side of the room, so I wouldn't disturb him any more.

"Mom? Still there?"

"Oh, yah I'm still here." I said recovering from being distracted of making sure Luke didn't wake up and need me or anything, of course that wouldn't be all that bad. Atleast I know he's still here. Rory. Right.

"So.. how.. is he?" she said, almost like she was uncertain she should be asking. I'm glad she did, I need someone to talk about this to. Otherwise it will all get trapped up inside of me, and of course, that would not be good.

"He's.. as good as he can be right now. I'm just so.. agh. It's really hard to talk about it, but I know I should. I can't just sit here feeling this worried, not knowing exactly how this happened. I really wish this hadn't happened, Rory, I love him so much, I can't lose him now." I said frantically, glad that it was all getting out finally, only I wish the tears would stop burning, threatening to spill over the edge. Again, Luke stirred slightly in his sleep, only this time he noticed that I wasn't there with him, and when he realized that he started to panic, opening his eyes wide and tryed to move his arm, forgetting that he was in a cast and hitting it on the side bar on the edge of the hospital bed, which shot a stab of pain through his arm causing him to jerk back, causing even more hurt, to his side, and at that he starting breathing heavily trying to keep in his cries of pain. When he noticed that I was in the corner of the room, he looked over at me with a look that I had never seen him have, he was clearly hurting and could see in his eyes that he was scared and worried that she had left him here alone. Which would never happen again.

"Hey, Rory, I've got to go, he just woke up again and I just.." I said really fast, in a hurry to get back to Luke and to tell him that I'll always be here, but Rory cut me off in mid sentence.

"Mom, its ok, go. Call if you need anything." she said sincerely, and I knew that I could count on her for anything I needed.

"I love you, Rory. I'll call in the morning,"

"I love you too, mom. And ok, oh and tell Luke hi for me. Sure your ok? I did mean what I said.."

"I know, bye." I hung up quickly, before she could answer my goodbye, feeling a bit bad about that a second later.

"Lorelai? Lorelai.. are you still.. here?" he said in between deep breaths, trying to get rid of the stabbing pain his right arm, the one that had been broken. His eyes were closed shut tightly, and was still breathing hard. I ran over to him to reassure I was still, he had to know that, why did he think I would go? Well. Coffee, I guess. Only when I know he's asleep though. I'd rather sacrifice coffee then Luke. God it's hard to focus with all these thoughts going around in my head.

"I'm here, I'm here.. shh.." I said, trying to comfort him and try to get his breathing back to normal, also trying to get the pain down. "I know the doctor left some painkillers around here.. somewhere.. here! Come on baby, take some of this.." murmuring fast, finding the bills on the other side of the bed and getting some water from the sink in the corner next to the door. By the time I got back, he was breathing alittle harder but his eyes werent closed this time. My heart broke once again when I saw him like that. Why did it have to be him? I handed him the pills and the water, and he took it all in one sip, which I bet he regreted afterwards, because, well. Let's just say those pills weren't all that small..

"Thanks.." he said simply, his breathing almost back to normal and his expression wasn't like it was. Guessing the painkillers worked.

"Are you ok? Why'd you do that?" I asked concerned and a bit confused as why he did it in the first place.

"I thought you, you left or.. something. And I guess I forgot about.. this.." he said dragging out the last word, staring at his arms and legs and everything around him.

"No, I wouldn't leave, I was just on the phone," I stated, happy about him not wanting me to leave him. Neither did I.

"Phone? With who? God.. I have to call the diner.. and.." he started ranting, which I knew wouldn't help him. Or me. I cut him off by placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Don't worry about it.. you just, sit here and relax. I know it will be hard, but promise me. Ok? It's already been taken care of. And it was Rory on the phone, she's the one who called everyone for us. So please, just, rely on me this one time to do everything? I need you to be cool, or else neither of us will. And yes I just said, you Luke, be cool about something. Hard to believe I know.." I said smirking at the end, I wanted it to be just like it was. But I know thats never going to happen.

All he did was have a small smile playing on his lips, but thats all I needed. To see that again. 


	4. Chapter Four

Luke was the first one to wake up this time, at around 8 o'clock that next morning. 

He could feel Lorelai's head still on his shoulder, where she had fallen asleep last night. Her arms wrapped lightly around his chest. He loved having her here, but he didn't want to wake her up so early, especially when she finally seemed calm and relaxed. Then he remembered where they were. The hospital. After.. the accident. He slowly drifted off to sleep once again, but only barely, subconsciously still awake, and aware of his surroundings.

About 30 minutes later, I started to wake up. Still in Luke's arms. Which felt so good. Anyways. Only now his chin was resting on my forehead, and I could both feel and hear his breathing. Also, his left hand was covering mine that was laying on his chest, even though there was a cast on his wrist, and not on his whole arm this time. I did'nt exactly know why he had that one, but it obviously wasn't something little if it needed that.

Trying not to wake him up, I slowly slide out from under his grasp. All he really did in response was turn his head the other way and shift himself so that he wasn't in the same position the whole night. Which would be awfully hard in that small bed. And Luke ain't that small. Heh.. dirty.

Once off of him (hmm.. dirty?) I quietly opened the door to go find some coffee. One cannot be up this early with no coffee. Tsk. Should be a law or something.

After wondering around the hospital trying to find a coffee machine and finding some on what seemed like the other side of the building, I was walking back towards his room, and was almost there when I saw someone who I really wish I hadn't. There, in the hallway walking quickly towards me, was the fabulous Emily Gilmore.. (along with Richard too, of course.)

I could tell she was not happy with me, and for what reason? I dont exactly know at the moment but here, let me tell you the story.

Before I could get anything out, or even move, she walked up to me, and blew up at me. Why, damnit! I wanted to know so bad.

"Lorelai! How could not tell us!" she just started screaming at me, in the middle of a busy hospital hallway, directly in front of Luke's room and probably in view of Luke. Poor Luke. My baby, I really need to get back to him. But.. remember who's here? Right. Poor dad. He's just standing right behind her watching her, feeling guilty, while saying that he's sorry to the staff and people who are walking past.

"Not tell you what!" I was seriously starting to get mad now, I didn't need any more of this right now.

"Luke! About Luke, Lorelai! How could you not tell us what happened? It's very rude, very. Now where is he?"

"What about Luke, mom? And why _should_ I tell you? Why would you care? And don't dare go in there, he doesn't need to see you right now. Or at all. Plus, another thing, why are you here anyways?" Ok, really mad now. Like I should really tell her everything that goes on in my life. Plus, they don't even like Luke. They definitely made that clear. God, they really need to leave right now. And if Luke here's her..

"Why? Because we have a right to know, don't we? He apparently matters a great deal to you, and that's why we should know about things like this. Especially since we didn't hear about it from you, we had to read it in the paper!" she screamed, which made me sure that Luke could hear her. Wait.. paper?

"..paper? What paper." I asked still confused. Very confused. I mean, I should've realized that the accident would probably be in the Hartford paper. Duh. It's obvious ain't it? This bad an accident ought to be in the paper. Even though I still don't really know what happened, or how it happened. Damnit. It's killing me. The next thing I knew, my mother was waving a piece of paper in front of my face, clearly trying to get my attention.

"This, Lorelai! This!" Ok, see, she's got to stop waving that, or someone's going to get very hurt.

"Mom! Seriously, Luke can hear you! He's _supposed_ to be trying to get some sleep, but it's probably kind of hard with you screaming like maniac out here! Get a grip! I will call you later! Ok? Ok. Goodbye." With that, I grabbed the paper out of her hand, and quickly walked into his room, locking the door behind me.

"Lorelai! Lorelai, open the door! This is ridiculous!" I could hear her muffled voice through the door. Which does show how loud she talks. I heard her walking away in a fuss, clearly yelling at people to get out of the way the whole time. Jesus. And I'm the rude one?

"Hello? Who.. is it.." he said still half asleep, because apparently, he had been slightly awakened by that lovely mother of mine.

"Hey, hey.. it's just me.." I said letting him know it was just me and that I hadn't left.

"Hey," he said smirking, his eyes still closed.

"How are you doin, babe.. need anything?" I really wanted to give him anything he wanted right now, it's the most I could do, really.

"I'm good.. you being here, is all that I need right now.." he said his eyes now opened sleepily, and grinned up at me. He gestured me to come over, and I did as he wished. Almighty coffee god that he is. And the god of.. other things (heh, enough with the dirtiness already.) Once by his side, he pulled me down for a tender kiss, which I wish could go further, but I knew it couldn't for quite a long time. After we broke apart, he was the first one to speak.

"I am happy that you're here, though. Just so you know.."

"I know, I'm happy to be here, kind sir." I want my Luke back.

"Mmhm." he said quietly, looking up at me with those gorgeous eyes. What they do to me.

"Mmhm.." I said while leaning to give him another quick kiss.

"Hey." he said against my lips as he pulled back.

"Yah?" Wondering what he was gonna ask.

"What's in your hands. Except the coffee. I don't need to know what that is, it's obvious knowing you." he said looking at the paper in my hand that wasn't occupied with the coffee cup that was now empty. I realized that it was the paper that my darling mother had brought and waved in my face. Great. Now I have to tell him what it is. I haven't even gotten a chance to read it yet.

"Oh, right, that's.. uh.. today's paper." I said, not really wanting to say out the last part.

"Oh." You could see the realization on his face. He also turned a little pale, like he was afraid of what I was gonna read, and/or see. And so was I.

"Yah.. do you want to tell me what really happened, or should I read about it first? I'd really rather hear your version.."

"Uh, sure.. just.. can I have a minute? Could you get me some water from the sink?" It was almost like he was afraid to tell me what had really happened. It won't be all that easy for him, either, I bet. So I did as he asked, I got up and went over to the sink and filled his glass, all the time watching him trying to lean over to the other side of the table to get the pills the doctor had given him if any part of him, especially since so many things had gone wrong in the.. accident.

I walked over a few minutes later with the water and newspaper still in hand. I put it on the floor next to my chair and sat down, handing him the water. It was clear that even leaning over had been hard for him, and caused him more pain that he had been feeling before. Which made his breathing heavier and deeper, and you could hear that it was hard for him to breathe since he had slammed into the steering wheel, which had also given him the concussion and the cut on the right side of his face that was about 2 and a half inches long, and looked fairly deep.

I waited until he was ready to talk about it, I didn't want to pressure him into it.

After about 5 minutes or so, he slowly turned to face me. I could see hesitation in his face, and I could see that he was drained from energy and life.

"Well.. I was on my way back from.. Hartford," he was already running out of energy, just talking. I sat patiently for him. That's what he needed. "After picking up some stuff for the diner there, I was on the highway, only about 20 minutes away, and I was gonna go to your house and.. surprise you, which obviously didn't.. work out." I had to smile at that, I could always count on him to do that, to make my day.

"So, anyways.. I was driving on the highway, and of course it was rush hour, which I had to say was horrible, and.." I knew he didn't really want to go on, but I did urge him on by rubbing his shoulder lightly and slowly. He continued. "There was this.. semi." The first thought in my mind after he said that? Big. Semi's are big. And Luke's truck is tiny compared to one. Oh, god. Somewhere in my mind, I didn't really want him to continue, but I knew I had to know the whole story. "Everyone could tell he was definitely not the best driver, and didn't really care about any of the other cars in his way. So, I was in the lane next to him, and I could hear his radio all the way through my windows, and through his. He turned on his turn signal.." I too started to turn alittle pale at this moment. Did I really want to know what had happened next? He kept going. "It was only a three lane highway, and he was in the middle, I was on the left of him. To the left of me. Was just a.. hill." He was starting to get tense, the scene replaying over and over in his mind. "And, I started honking lightly to know that I right there, but he didn't listen, or didn't hear me over his music. So then I really started laying on it, and I couldn't put on my brakes, since there was a line of people behind me. He started moving over.. and I.. I couldn't move.. The shoulder wasn't big enough on the side of the rode.. and.. he just kept going. So I didn't do anything other then keep honking, since I couldn't go anywhere anyways. Then.. he just.. kept going and.. smashed into the side.. which through me off even more, and when he just wouldn't go back and I tried making him by trying to make him see me, by flashing my lights and.. just.. didn't want to move back, or couldn't, I don't know. He looked at the truck, I know he saw me, I saw him **turn** his head. He just.. kept going and I started to panic so I tryed to go into the shoulder and stopping, which I couldn't because he was still pushing me over, and.. then.."

I swear I stopped breathing sometime in his rant about it. I didn't want to know how all of.. this.. the bandages and broken bones.. and.. everything. Because, I knew it couldn't of been the semi hitting his side.. and I was right. It wasn't just that. Tears were burning in the corners of my eyes, and they were already running down his face from just thinking about it. I knew this wasn't easy for him.

"Then.. it.. the truck. Rolled." Then the tears finally did come, slowly streaming down my face.

"Not only once, once off the shoulder, it.. just kept.. going down, first sliding and the top, and rolling, like.. 4.. more times." By this part, his eyes were closed shut, like he was trying to get the image of it out of his mind. "And it just kept sliding only now on the wheels, and then it just flipped once more.. onto the top again.. and it just sat there.. I could feel it creaking below me.. I was just hanging.. there.. and I was.. scared.. Lorelai.. I was so scared.. I still am.. I don't want to talk about it anymore.. please, don't make me. Please." Now he was just pleading, begging me to drop it for now. The tears on his face made it so much more real for me, so I simply.. nodded to him. I figured that's what he needed right now.

So I left him there, him sitting there staring at the ceiling, still crying a bit, wiping them off with the wrist that was broken.

"Hey, can I leave for a minute? Need some more coffee. You.. need anything?" I said carefully, not sure if I should bother him right now.

"No.. I'm fine.. go ahead.. I'll.. be here." he said looking away. Defeated.

"I love you.."

He smiled at that, looking back at me and in his eyes, I could see that he knew that what I said was the truth.

"I know. I love you too. Don't take to long.."

"I won't. Fifteen minutes. That ok?" He nodded, and I opened the door and left the room. Glad I had my phone in my back pocket, I took it out and went out the front building, and went to the Jeep, forgetting about the coffee. I sat there crying softly at first and called a very familiar number.


	5. Chapter Five

Woohoo! Chapter five.. read and review, my loves?

"Hello?"

"Hey.." I quietly greet her.

"Oh, hey.. how.. is he?" she answered hesitantly, she could tell by my quietness that I wasn't really that good right. And she was right, I wasn't. How come I'm this easy to read?

"Oh he's.. well, he's not really that good. Neither am I. He just told me.. about the.. accident. It was horrible.. I mean.. you should've seen his face. He was so scared. He actually told me that, that he was scared. Luke is never scared! I mean do you ever remember Luke being the one in this situation? Why does it have to be him? It could've been me.. or something.. something other than this! Please.. just, I don't want him to be here. Rory, I really, really, dont want to be here either. But I can't leave." Ranting is probably not a very good idea right now, but oh well.

"Mom, mom. Stop. Please, you can't do anything about it now, you just have to be there for him. Just don't hold it up inside of you and then let it all come out at once? Ok? Good. And it wouldn't have been better if it was you, then he would be in your place, would you really want this for him? It just happened. Life happens. Do you want me to come? He's not the only one who needs someone.. mom?"

"Yes, yes.. are you sure? You really don't have to, I'll be fine for now.. I'm sorry, just ignore that I called."

"No, I will come. Just, five more minutes and I'll be there, ok? Meet me by the front entrance, just.. don't move." Before I could even respond, Rory had hung up and was on her way here. To the hospital. I let out a deep long sigh, and went inside to get more coffee.

About 10 minutes later she was outside, bad kid, she was 5 minutes late.. or else it was me, who actually forgot where the closest coffee machine was to the entrance, not the one all the way near his room, which is about.. 5 minutes away from the entrance. Whatever. Atleast I got my coffee. We didn't even say each other, she just came up to me, and gave me a long hug. That was needed, I admit.

After us standing there just in each other's arms for about 10 minutes, we finally broke apart and went to a bench that was near the entrance.

"Mom.. are you ok? Good enough to go inside?" she asked gently.

"I'm good now. Let's go." With that I got up from the bench and started to head to the entrance. When I noticed that Rory wasn't behind me following, I turned around and looked at her. "What are you waiting for? Come on." I went inside, not even turning around that time, she could come when she felt like it I guess. After a minute we reached the room and we both stopped outside the door, looking at each other. I knew she wouldn't reallybe expecting what she saw inside, I wasn't really sure if I should take her in there yet anyways. Maybe its better if we waited a bit longer? I don't really know. No. No, no, no. She can go in if she feels she's ready. It's not my choice for her to go in or not. She should be able to, and she should go in, too. She cares about Luke just like I do, she really should see him. He cares about Rory so much, too. It's like she is partly his daughter. That thought makes me smile, because he really is like one to her.

He's always been there for her. For me. For us.

She turns and looks at me, and I can tell she's hesitating to go in. Especially since she's seen how I've been when I come out. I give her a nod that tells her she should go in, and I tell her that I'll wait out here. She walks in, and I go and sit in one of the chairs sitting against the wall to his room. I wait.

About ten minutes past before the door opened and Rory came out of the room, I could tell she had been crying, her face was tear stained and her eyes were red. My heart broke for her, just like hers had for me.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked her, I knew she wouldn't really tell me what she really thought, because she would try to put on that brave face that was so readable.

"Ya, I'm fine.. I'm just gonna sit down. I just.. he wants to see you, he thought I was you when I first went in."

I silently nodded, stood up and walked towards the door, looking back at my beautiful child who wasn't alright, which bothered me. I went in a second later. When I walked in, he looked up at me sleepily, probably still tired from everything that had been happening. I didn't really know what I should do. I couldn't be the one who put on the mask now, even though now I probably have to..

"Hi," I started softly, not wanting him to wake up fully again. I continued, wanting to know how it went with Rory. "How did it go with her? Were you glad to see her? I wasn't really sure if I should've so I just did.. I didn't think really, sorry, I just thought you might've liked to see someone you-" I was cut off by Luke's hand over my mouth, and him well. Telling me to well, shut up I guess.

"Hey.. shh," he stated quietly. "It's fine that you sent in Rory. I'm actually glad.. I needed to see another familiar face. It helped, it really did, and I want to thank you for it." he smiled up at me and brought me down for a slow gentle kiss, which mixed in with my tears. I don't exactly know why I started crying, maybe it was just the emotions getting to me of this whole thing. I wasn't ready for it. When we broke apart he wiped away my tears, making me smile like an idiot.

"You should go back to sleep, unless you want something, and I can get it for you. Or Rory. She's still here."

"No, I don't want anything. Except the pain to go away, but I don't think you can do anything about that. I just want you here. With me. Please stay?" What could I do? I stayed. 


	6. Chapter Six

_I'm really, really sorry about the long wait. This is the longest writers block I've ever had for any story ever written by me. Amazing. But here it is, chapter six, I just started it up one day in school, i have to admit. and guess we'll just see where it takes us. I truly have no idea either, so bare with me. Not that I have many reviewers for this story. Or any of my others really, but it sure says I have quite a few hits on it. Yay._

A week later, on the next Friday after the accident, we were talking, eh, well, whatever you want to call it.

"Lorelai, just please. Go. You can spend one night out, you've been here everyday since it happened, and don't get me wrong, I really do love seeing you every day, but please.. just go out and get your mind off things. Go see a movie without leaving during the middle, go some place fancy with Rory, just do something. I love you, and please. Just go this once. I promise I won't make you go again. Well.." he finished, I truly didn't really know why he wanted me to go, he did love having me here. He even said it, but I don't know. I don't want to leave. I can't have fun without him.

"No, I don't want to.. I just want to stay here with you, come on. We could do something. Like.. play Scrabble. That's always fun. Even though you can't really use your arms, so I guess that's.. sort of, well, out of the question. But come on, I do want to stay here!"

He just stared at me. With that look that I had no choice but to give in to. The one that told me to just shut up and go. In that loving sort of way. Wait, is there such thing? Apparently there is. So I went, and I called up Rory and asked if she wanted to go to a movie. Of course, she asked questions.

"Wait.. why do you want to go out tonight? Don't you want to be with Luke? It's where you spend every waking minute. Talking about him, talking with him.. talking about the last time you-.."

"Rory. I get it, I get it. I spend alot of time with him. Thinking of him, etc etc. Whatever. Do you really think I'm the one who wants to go out? Not especially. He's the one who wants me to go out and have some 'fun'. So I'm going." Didn't really want to explain everything, but do I really have a choice? Nope.

"Wait, you're actually doing something he told you to do? Wow. I'm impressed. Could you put him on the phone? I want the secret."

"Hey!" Oh come on, I'm not that hard to persuade. Well, sometimes. Actually, well I guess I see their point.. wait! Why am I agreeing with them?

"Just kidding, just kidding.. relax. No need to get worked up about a joke, especially when you make so many."

"Kid, just answer my question. Can you, or can you not make it to a movie on this lonely Friday night, or do you want your mother to be sad and lonely? Pick the right answer, and, well. You won't suffer many injuries." Oh come on, just say yes.

"Yes, mom. I'm free. What time do you want me to pick you up. Since I'm sure you won't be able to stop talking on the drive, and I'd rather not be in the hospital too. So please, just let me drive. And tell me a time." Kids these days, always in a rush.

So we went to the movies, saw whatever stupid thing was playing, and to tell the truth. I wasn't really paying attention. The entire time, I was clutching my cell like I was expecting something to happen to Luke at the hospital, like he would stop breathing, or they would discover something else was wrong, or something would go down instead of up. Surprisingly, Rory didn't notice how I wasn't paying any attention to the screen, I was just kind of staring at it, just lost in my thoughts. Even if she did, she sure didn't show it. I would laugh at what seemed like the right times, I would reach for my drink every so often, trying to busy myself, and get rid of all the thoughts that clouded my mind. But they just wouldn't leave me, they stayed there and haunted me the entire time, and when the end credits finally rolled down the screen. Rory finally snapped me out my daze.

"Mom? Mom.. you in there?" She started to wave her hand in front of my face but I caught her hand and looked her in the eyes.

"Come on, lets go. I wanna get back to the hospital. Hurry, hurry, hurry." Ok, so now who's the one in a rush?

But before I could stand up and walk away, she grabbed my hand and pulled me back down, and I just stared down at the floor. Not wanting to tell her what's on my mind.

"Mom. We're in no hurry. I'm sure Luke's not dying since you're not there." Oh god, why did she have to say _that._ By the way her face changed after she realized what she said, she started to rant, oh boy. She really is my daughter. "Oh, mom. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it like that. He's just not waiting for you there just thinking about you, well I'm sure he's thinking about you but.."

"Rory. I know what you meant. It's fine. I'm fine. I just want to see him. It's hard to be apart from him right now, and I just.. don't like it when I'm not there. I don't even like going home to sleep every night, going back to the empty house. It doesn't feel right without him there. It's just.. it's really hard. So please, can we just go back?" She just nodded and got up and picked up the popcorn bag which was only half empty, which is amazing, seeing as it was the two Gilmore girls who were sitting there.

So we left, and were on our way back to the hospital, once again

We got there, and I went straight to his room, don't even remember if the car was stopped all the way before I jumped out and basically lunged for the entrance, and speed walked down the halls to his room. I could hear Rory behind me yelling my name for me to wait up, to slow down, to hold on. But I wouldn't. I didn't listen, just kept walking. Was getting alot of exercise, shouldn't she be proud? Once I got to his door, I opened it and saw him sleeping, but not looking that comfortable. At all. Hospital beds aren't really all that soft. I went over to him and sat down in the chair and just stared at him, he finally stirred awake after a minute, because he must have sensed someone else was in the room. Or else he heard my chair squeaking across the floor. In any case, he did wake up, which reassured me just alittle more.

Just alittle.

"Hey, why are you back so early?" he spoke softly, still a tiny bit sleepily. He really is cute when he's like this, and I know he would kill me if he knew I said that. But really, who's gonna tell him?

"Oh, the movie ended.. and we decided to come back.. why, do you not want me here? 'Cause I can just leave." Not that I really wanted to. I would probably be sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine or something, stressed all the same. For no sane reason anyways. But am I ever sane.

"Oh come on. I know you. You don't just come back from a movie without staying and watching the credits, or talking and picking up ice cream somewhere, or something. You have never come back right away. What's wrong? Please tell me."

Do I really have to say?

_Wow, this is the worst chapter ever in my opinion. lmfao. It's like, just a filler, it doesn't do anything, and it's not even near as good as the other five, it's not really into the plot either, but I dont know. Tell me your opinion. And yes, I left you with a cliffhanger. Because truly, I have no idea what else to write._


	7. Author's Note

**Author's note..**

Thanks to the people.. the few, who have reviewed on this story. It really does help, even though I haven't really gotten that many, which sucks in some ways. But I know people are reading it, because there are hits. But whatever. It would be nice if you reviewed though. Hint hint. Just kidding. Anyways. I'm having another writers block. I just don't really know what to write. I haven't been able to write this story for awhile, it's in a weird place right now.

I'll try to do more within the next week. I swear to you.

Well, maybe.

**..the shameless one;**


	8. Chapter Seven

Ohmygoodness. I totally forgot about this story.. soo sorry, guys.. so here it is, tiny little puny chapter 7 I guess it is? Enjoy, and 8 will be up soon. Atleast this week since it's no school.

* * *

"It's just that.." I started, but stopped when I saw that Luke wasn't looking at me anymore, instead at the door. When I looked over, I couldn't believe who I was seeing through the window at the front desk. 

Jess.

After gathering my thoughts again, I got up and walked out the door, just as confused as Luke probably was at the moment.

"Just tell me where he is! Luke Danes! What room is he in? Just tell me, I'm his nephew!" I heard him yell at the poor receptionist. I started walking towards him, calling out his name. Finally he realized someone was calling out to him.

Sometimes that boy just couldn't listen to other people; but I had to hand it to him.

He really cares about his family.

"Lorelai! Where's Luke! Is he okay?" I smiled at him, taking in how much he had grown up. He looked good. He was starting to take care of himself.

"He's down the hall, you can come see him, just calm down." I said to him, trying to make sure he wouldn't disturb anyone else."Ok," he said, looking down at the ground, probably about his little outbreak that he just had, and in a hospital, too.

So I led him back to the room, and when we walked in, I could hear Jess stop in his tracks behind me as soon as he saw Luke. Of course, most people would do that. I guess I had just gotten so used to how much Luke's appearance had changed. And for his nephew to see him like this? That must've been hard on Luke, especially by seeing the surprised look on his face when we both walked in, probably not believing that was actually who it was.

"Jess.. what are you doing here?" He asked slowly, still in shock that his nephew who he thought hardly even cared about him had shown up.

"I came to see you of course." Jess said smirking, finding it amusing how he had even come to see his uncle. But he did, and that's all that matters. Luke smiled back at the kid who he thought of as his own kid. Seeing this as something Jess probably didn't want me to witness, I waved to Luke from behind Jess and mouthed goodbye to him, and slipped out the door.

Once outside, I took out my cell phone to call Rory.

"Oh my god, you won't guess who's here.."


End file.
